Guilt Trip
Using guilt, obligation, or disappointment as the lever.
Conflict Patterns
Recognize the move before you answer it.
Conflict patterns are pressure moves that make you over-explain, defend your character, surrender a boundary, or chase approval. Naming the pattern helps you choose the response.
Martyrdom
Listing sacrifice so any boundary sounds like betrayal.
DARVO
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
Gaslighting
Rewriting facts until you doubt your own memory or perception.
Triangulation
Dragging in a third person to create pressure, jealousy, or social proof.
Moving Goalposts
The bar keeps shifting so the task can never be finished.
Scope Creep
A small ask quietly expands into a much larger commitment.
Public Shaming
Using an audience to pressure, embarrass, or control you.
Credit Theft
Taking ownership of work, ideas, or effort that were yours.
Minimizing
Shrinking harm into a joke, misunderstanding, or oversensitivity.
Invidious Comparison
Measuring you against someone supposedly better, easier, or more loyal.
Silent Treatment
Withdrawal and stonewalling used as punishment.
Loyalty Test
Turning compliance into proof that you care or belong.
Empathy Trap
Baiting compassion so you drop your guard or boundary.